First published January 21, 2011<\/p>\n
Hi there \u2013 Can you see me? I\u2019m down here. Not up there where I used to be. Yes, for a long time, I was 5\u20196 \u00be \u201c. Now I\u2019m just 5\u20195 \u00be\u201d. When my family doctor, who used to be shorter than me but we\u2019re now eye-to-eye discovered it, she shook her head. \u201cThat must be wrong \u2013 we had the rug replaced\u2026.\u201d Her voice trailed off as she studied my chart. However from an earlier visit to the osteoporosis clinic I knew I was shrinking.<\/p>\n
No longer would I be just shy height-wise of being a model (and likely about 25 pounds, but at least I can change that \u2013 oh wait, my face might be a problem too) it now appears I\u2019m on a downward spiral.<\/p>\n
My whole life is now destined to be like that Alice Cooper concert I attended several years ago where everyone towered over me at about 6\u20194\u201d. I spent the night jumping up and down to see Alice. Every so often my brother would let me stand on his feet but it just wasn\u2019t the same thing.<\/p>\n
Now that I\u2019m shrinking, I\u2019ve had to confront the fact I\u2019m a height-ist. Don\u2019t get me wrong. I like short people. I even have short friends. It\u2019s just that I\u2019ve always enjoyed not being short. I always felt more authoritative, more grown up, up there towering above the short. Now I realize that\u2019s because I\u2019m like that guy in the movie \u2018Watermelon Man\u2019, the racist who wakes up black one day.<\/p>\n
If I lie on a psychiatrist\u2019s couch to discuss this \u2013 or just give me a loveseat because I don\u2019t really need to lie on a three-seater anymore \u2013 it all stems back to my childhood. I mean perhaps Napoleon was the schoolyard bully, but let\u2019s face it; the actual leaders in the playground at my school were the tall kids. Who was the most popular kid in grade 3? My best friend Betty Ann who was, need I say, tall.<\/p>\n
Who were the pets? You guessed it -the short ones who got picked up and carried around. Everyone brushed their hair and babied them. Already one very tall friend of mine has started putting her arm around me. Soon I\u2019ll be her pet.<\/p>\n
I know it could be worse. I could be a guy (Actually, with all that new fangled technology, I could be a guy \u2013 they just couldn\u2019t make me a tall guy.)<\/p>\n
It might seem like the medical community is tackling this height loss problem what with all of those ads in my inbox everyday about adding inches, but that\u2019s for something else. Since I\u2019ve lost height, I\u2019ve discovered nose sprays and a program called Grow Taller 4 Idiots. Some websites suggest a lot of stretching, swimming and cycling which will stimulate growth hormone and hopefully make me grow. Others reveal how to appear taller, but they\u2019re all for guys (dress in one colour, don\u2019t buy heels) Heels are actually my best idea and the higher the better. (As a formerly perfectly-sized person, my heels aren\u2019t that high.)<\/p>\n
Oddly, but strangely uncomforting, my height loss explains away my apparent weight gain. I\u2019ve been feeling tubbier lately but the scales keep showing me the same weight. With only 5\u20195 \u00be\u201d of me available, it seems to be all squishing into a smaller area.<\/p>\n
Of course, now that I\u2019m smaller and shrinking I won\u2019t be able to eat as much. The airlines have lactose free and vegetarian meals, there\u2019s nothing for us little leprechauns, is there? Acch no. Wait a minute, though. I\u2019ll now have no trouble getting a happy meal. Can you see me here? I\u2019m just under the cash register. Yes, this is my own debit card. No, I\u2019m not with my parents.<\/p>\n
Speaking of parents, at least I\u2019m taller than my Mom, whose been shrinking for years, which means I can boss her around, which I\u2019ll enjoy.<\/p>\n
Maybe this shrinking thing won\u2019t be too bad. Soon, I\u2019ll be able to shop in the kid\u2019s department which is lots cheaper although I know I\u2019m going to feel weird wearing Dora the Explorer t-shirts. I can trick or treat at Halloween \u2013 think of all those chocolate bars.<\/p>\n
I know I\u2019ll have to endure the barbs of those taller than me, although they will likely find themselves swatting the air above me and missing me, but things like limbo dancing and being able to ride the kid\u2019s rollercoaster with Justin Bieber and Tie Domi will be a new adventure. So will being little enough to sit on Santa\u2019s knee once again.<\/p>\n
Yes, it may be a small world, but it\u2019s starting to feel bigger already.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
First published January 21, 2011 Hi there \u2013 Can you see me? I\u2019m down here. Not up there where I used to be. Yes, for a long time, I was 5\u20196 \u00be \u201c. Now I\u2019m just 5\u20195 \u00be\u201d. When my family doctor, who used to be shorter than me but we\u2019re now eye-to-eye discovered it, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":49,"menu_order":1,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/front-page.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-340","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/georgiebinks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/340","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/georgiebinks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/georgiebinks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/georgiebinks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/georgiebinks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=340"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/georgiebinks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/340\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":362,"href":"https:\/\/georgiebinks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/340\/revisions\/362"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/georgiebinks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/49"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/georgiebinks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=340"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}